Since February 12, 2021 we have experienced great loss & also received a huge blessing. On May 18, 2021 we lost our baby boy, Isaiah. We were almost 23wks pregnant and I had been experiencing bleeding as we traveled. On April 27th I found out the bleeding was not from a miscarriage but rather a subchorionic hemorrhage that did not heal early on. We made attempts to receive medical care, 5 times on our way back to Florida to receive proper care from my former OBGYN office. The medical facilities in Mississippi were only pushing me off to MFM (maternal fetal medicine) with a 2 week minimum wait time. I needed progesterone and had previously experienced a pre-term birth with our daughter Makensie.
I never made it back to Florida before going into spontaneous labor and delivered our baby boy, Isaiah Tyler Charles, named after his daddy and great-grandpa and the name "ISAIAH" was given to us by God. It rips me apart. We delivered a LIVING baby boy, perfectly formed. Protocols would NOT give him medical intervention. We just sat and waited with medical staff for his little heart to stop. He joined Jesus and those who have gone before us a little over an hour after his birth. I'll never understand, I'll always question what I could have done better, different. It won't bring him back though, and I have been working really hard to make peace with that.
Moving forward from May 18, 2021 was a blur for what seemed like years. My husband and I just held tight to our relationship with God and our little following we accumulated while traveling and doing street ministry. There were so many times I just couldn't see the point of getting out of bed, BUT I had to. Makensie needed me, and I had to TRY and survive this grief that succumbed my entire being. We spent about 3 weeks in my grandparents home, trying to heal, trying to understand and make sense of it. Trauma is ruthless. The one thing we both knew we could NOT do was relapse into drugs. We'd both been in recovery for WAY too long at this point to revert backwards. So, we threw ourselves back into ministry. We left my grandparents house and headed to Ohio. We were going to attempt to start over there.
Traveling and "21st Century Discipleship,"... is NO cake walk. We have, however, learned and grown from all the GOOD, BAD, & UGLY that we have encountered. People will ALWAYS be PEOPLE. [[ PERIOD ]] We give GRACE to the graceless and speak PEACE over the peaceless and MOVE on. That being said, Ohio was a stepping stone and we met some really awesome people there. Justin and I were able to briefly minister and baptize a new brother-in-Christ while we were there. The next stop was Texas! We are currently residents of the GREAT LONESTAR STATE lol. We originally came to try and find some work in the oil fields but that was going to be really difficult on our family. Justin would have been 6+ hours away 2 weeks on 2 weeks off. December 25th 2021 we were back in Texas and January 17, just 3 days after my 36th birthday we found out we were expecting! Hannah Grace was definitely our "surprise" rainbow baby.
September 2022 we gave birth to our beautiful, healthy, FULL-TERM baby girl. We are currently about to celebrate her 5th month milestone in just less than two weeks. She is a BIG girl and very happy. She had a few set-backs with a lip and tongue tie and now that those are revised life is MUCH easier for all of us. That is a sum of the missing 2 years haha.
I do hope to go ahead with publication of a 365 day devotional this year. That is my hope & goal for 2023. God Bless you guys!
Isaiah was a promise 💙 we never knew we had coming!
January 15, 2021 (the day after my 35th birthday)
Hannah Grace September 2022