Take Courage

My struggles with my weight are finally changing for the better. I am now down in my weight from 172-151lbs. I also am working on the end of my taper off MMT I began in December of this year. I am at 15MG's and that is a MIRACLE! <3 I am so, so, so, so, so thankful, grateful and blessed to the at the end of this long journey to regain my freedom from medications. God has been extremely gracious throughout my recovery process. I never had been given the tools for recovering from my drug addiction, co-dependency, and any other issues I had. Upon my release of my 13 month Prison sentence in March of 2011 I was strictly reliant upon my Faith in God. That got me through most of the 4 years being 100% clean off of opioids. I still ABUSED alcohol though. I had NO CLUE that I was supposed to be working on my recovery daily. I actually told the Public Defender I had been abused by my boyfriend and mentally abused by his father who was an alcoholic. I told her I was struggling with a bad drug addiction as well. I guess because I didn't appear to be a drugged out of my mind young woman she didn't believe me. So I was on MY OWN at that point to figure out how to navigate a prison sentence solo with all my baggage. God literally used my Aunt and my Grandmother, Mom, and Dad to remind me WHO I WAS. I had NO CLUE upon entering that Prison yard surrounded by barbed wire WHO THE HECK I WAS anymore. My entire identity had been soiled by drug abuse, alcoholism, abuse, and absolute desecration of my self-worth. I know I say it so much and I am NOT sorry. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!! God took me, wrapped me up in a spiritual cocoon and turned me into a beautiful butterfly! That Prison sentence was the BEST experience and most incredible time of growth. To be beautifully BROKEN and vulnerable is a state I will GLADLY stay in FOREVER. When we get quiet and LEAN in on GOD for EVERYTHING... it's truly MIRACULOUS what takes place in our perspectives. Life totally changed for me during those months in Ocala. I met some amazing women, had amazing female Sergeants above me guiding me. I will NEVER regret what GOD brought me to and THROUGH!!! I'd honestly LOVE to have the opportunity to go back and minister there. I told my husband the other day I think it'd be cool if we ended up starting our own Church! I'd love to open our hearts, and our lives up to honor and help those who are searching for LOVE and Grace. He & I have both been at the bottom of the bottom of life. He was homeless for a while during his lowest points in life. I just feel such a strong urgency right now in my spirit. God is doing something... and I can't wait to DO what EVER it is HE WANTS US TO! <3