Update on last few months

So, I really believed Kratom was gonna be like the BEST idea ever. Which, it was very helpful, until the solution to methadone withdrawal became a problem itself. I want to just COLD TURKEY the kratom but I know that'll just not necessarily go so great. So, I have tried this whole tapering down thing over the past month, and got really good at it until I wasn't good at it anymore. It's so hard having that physiological dependence on something and it tells you-"you need more" or "it's time to take ______." I've also realized that I can literally use ANYTHING to "fix" whatever issue I am facing. I've done it with food, television.. obviously drugs. All of these things are counterfeits to what I truly NEED. God is the ONLY ONE that can fill the VOID I feel and help sustain my emotions. I can sit here and preach to myself and others all day but all of this has been extremely challenging to learn. I know it is not in vain. I know that what I'm struggling with today will help someone tomorrow. I know that victory is coming, and I will NOT give up my FIGHT to FREEDOM. I have a headache right now and genuinely just feel kinda crappy. So here I am in the midst of another struggle, and at the END of myself. You'd think I'd have learned by now, but I overcomplicate everything and overthink it to death. That whole saying "stay out of your head, or you're dead" is legit. I will make a youtube video soon on this subject but am not feeling it at the moment. I pray all of you are making it through whatever your personal struggle is right now. I pray that GOD strengthens all of you and myself. We have to be willing to surrender it to Him.. I know that for sure. Once we let GO, God CAN provide the answers. Love you all. Oh, I love our new home and still have yet to get it decorated but that is a project I have to keep me BUSY and my MIND off the kratom issue.